All alone

"There are no emails in your inbox." No text messages. No missed phone calls. No one. Exile. This is what happens when you're Tim Hershman. "How's that going for you Tim?" Fuck you. I didn't do anything to deserve this. All I've done is try to keep everyone happy and made myself miserable doing it. No more. I'm so sick of me and everyone telling me how I'm fucked up. Life is not a reality TV show. Life's problems can't be solved by reading a book (or two.) All you can do is spend time here and when its up you're gone. Done. I start off okay with people and sooner or later people figure me out, get tired of my shit or whatever and want to ditch me. My relationships with people suck. "Authentic Human Being." What the fuck is that? There is no such thing. I bet I can sit here at this desk all day and not do a fucking thing and nobody will notice. Its gonna be a long fucking day. Early night though. Straight to bed after open mic. What are you fighting Tim? Boredom? Reality? I feel so stupid. I gotta get outta here. The only problem is no matter where I go, there I am. Time to go over the edge....

Steve Jobs, Retirement, Occupy Wall Street and the "N" word.

It's been a crazy week. Steve Jobs, the founder of Apple, inventor of the coolest gadgets on the planet died. You got protesters in the streets of major cities in the U.S. "occupying Wall Street," and Barbara Walters said the 'N' word on 'The View.' What a world.
When I heard that Steve Jobs died I was shocked and saddened. I thought he beat his ailment and figured with all that money he could afford health care that would allow him to live a lot longer than he did. Just goes to show that money isn't the solution to life's problems and no one can escape their fate. Steve Jobs' death just demonstrated to me that we should all live in the moment, do what we love, and value our time with our loved ones. I wonder if when Steve Jobs was younger he had a retirement plan. Probably not. He probably planned on working his whole life only because he loved what he did.
Many people in this country get hung up on retirement. Not me. I plan on working my whole life. Doing what I couldn't tell you, but I'll be doing something I like and hopefully I'll keel over while I'm doing it and head on out to the sweet by and by. Andy Rooney retired from '60 minutes' this past week. I wish nothing but the best for the man but I would suspect that he'll be dead within a year. That's what happens when you stop doing. I've always thought the number one killer of old people is retirement. Most of richest people in the world are older than 65 and still get up, suit up, and go to work. Look at T. Boone Pickens and all of those old bastards on Wall Street. Rich and still working. Speaking of Wall Street...
'Occupy Wall Street.' What a bunch of shit. This is what happens when you don't have Elliot Spitzer around. I don't really understand how these protests are going to help. If anything, it just makes it easier for hijackers of the game to keep on doing things behind the scenes. Politicians will use this in the upcoming elections and I wouldn't doubt if some protester will write a crappy book about this and make a million. Catered lunches, using smartphones and laptops, not to mention having to use McDonalds' bathrooms while protesting. Hokey. Tyler Durden would disapprove. People gave corporations power by giving them there money. If they quit doing that corporations would lose their power. You want to protest? Start taking care of yourself. Become an American with a sense of rugged individualism. Do what you gotta do so you can do what you want to do. In the meantime, quit bitching. If you want to bitch, go on 'The View.'
'View' co-host Barbara Walters said "nigger." OMG! In front of two black people, a studio audience, and national televison she said "nigger." Whoopi Goldberg said it. No big deal. When a white woman says it though, look out. "I don't like the way you said it" is what her co-host said. Is there a nice way to say "nigger?" "What's up nigger?", "Nigger please!", "I'm nigger rich!" No. No nice way. Joe Rogan said in a stand up act that the word "Nigger" is one of the three power words. The other two are "Cunt" and "Love." I'll buy that. But he also says that "Nigger" belongs to black people. That I don't get. I can say what ever I want. Not that I would call a black person a nigger. One, it's mean and racist. Two, white people just can't pull it off. But if I'm talking to Sean P. Diddy and he asks me if I think he's a "House Nigger" I would have to reply "No, I don't think you're a house "nigger." In the movie "Get Him to the Greek" Jonah Hill's response was "I don't think you're a house 'N' word." It made for good comedy, but that scene was pointing out the fact that white people are banned from saying the word. Fuck that. Don't tell me what I can't say. Right Ice Cube, Ice-T, Samuel Jackson?
On a lighter note, I suggest you pick up a copy of Will Elliott's The Pilo Family Circus. It's an awesome read with a skewed (or not so skewed depending on your thinking) view of the circus-world, life, and clowns. Very entertaining while making you think at the same time. Quite the opposite from following mainstream media now that I think about it. Peace.

Recapitulation per Ho Chi Tim

My wife can't stand me. Yet I would die for her. I love her unconditionally but I don't get that in return. I call this the "Christ Syndrome." It's when you tell people you love them and would do anything for them, but they don't believe you. I can't do anything right in this world of perfection we are expected to live in. Look around...if you're not perfect you're wrong. If you don't have the job, the house, the 2.3 children, and the retirement fund (and don't forget the college fund!) and a savings account then you are flawed. If you can't take an all expenses paid vacation every year then you are flawed. If you have a bad day you are required to suck it up. "Yeah, well my day was bad too!" is the reply you get. No sympathy. Christ Syndrome. I'm dying for you, yet you don't care. All you care about are your problems. No problem. I'm supposed to be like Christ. I'll take your pain. Take it to the cross. Actually, it would be kind of cool to be able to die like that when you think about it. Suppose soldiers came in and took you from your house and three days later nailed you to a cross and you were cool with it. I guess it would beat sitting in a nursing home shitting on yourself not knowing who you are because you forgot. Fuck you world...I still love you.

Well, the annual Hershman trip to Geneva-on-the-Lake has come to a close. We had fun but I don't think I want to go there anymore. That Lake is disgusting and the beaches are pretty rough so it is probably time to find a new vacation spot. I feel like making a couple of changes in my life and I'm thinking a step in the right direction would be to quit drinking. I drank an entire 30 pack of beer over the weekend and I'm not feeling too good about it. I've got some issues I have to work out and I'm thinking that blogging about it might keep me more honest. I'm tired of my kids seeing me with a beer all the time. I'm tired of my wife (whose put up with more than her share of my junk) giving me dirty looks when I have a beer. I'm tired of not having any money(which a large part of goes to beer.) Look at this picture. I have an awesome family and they are way more important than any intoxicating substance. Time to get your shit together Ho Chi Tim. Quit drinking. Start living.

Life without Television--Better than you think!

Since I haven't been able to keep a job for over a year now money has become tight. My wife and I decided it was a good idea to put off DirecTV for financial reasons and I couldn't be happier. It is amazing how much extra time of each day you gain without watching TV for the three...no wait I just researched it. Eight hours on average? You gotta be kidding me! Wake up people! There is more to life than reality television. There is reality. Use your brain. Make something. Play something. Do something! I posted a video on Facebook yesterday and I got a comment from someone saying "I wish I had time to do that!" My reply was "Quit watching TV and start making it." Technology exists for our betterment not our hindrance. Who cares what Kim Kardashian is doing? I only know her from seeing her on the cover of magazines in the check out aisle of the grocery store. It knocks me out how reality television has made stars out of people that shouldn't have been let into the audience of a Jerry Springer show. But then again, the producers are only doing their jobs. The audience loves it. I am suddenly taken to the scene in the movie "Gladiator" when Maximus, played by Russell Crowe, kills some opponents in a gory fashion and yells at the crowd "Are you not entertained?" and then spits at them. Preach on Russell. So here is what I have done without television.

1. Got better on guitar.
2. Taught my daughter how to play guitar. Now we play at living centers for the elderly.
3. Painted a picture.
4. Read some books. Some for entertainment, some for knowledge.
5. Made Sushi many times. (A Youtube video will be forthcoming.)
6. Built some cool lights.
7. Lost weight. See other posts.
8. Came up with some really killer ideas.
9. Finished my bathroom.
10. Figured out how to promote me!

So there you go. Do what the bumper sticker says. "Kill your television." The way things are going with the internet and On Demand services you're not missing anything anyway. Except your own life...Ho Chi Tim.

Ho Chi Tim Sandals---A dream is born...

HO CHI TIM SANDALS...what?! A quick history lesson...In the 1960's the Vietnam War was going on. A lot of American lives were altered by this conflict. The leader of the "enemy" forces was a man named Ho Chi Minh. The fighters he was in charge of (out of necessity) started fabricating sandals to wear in the jungle made out of a tire and an inner tube. They used what they had and it worked out pretty well. They fought valiantly against the United States military and eventually the U.S. left, not having changed the regime.
My name is Tim. I was born in 1969 so I did not fight in this conflict. I do, however, like wearing sandals. I also have time on my hands, so I thought of a great idea. I am going to design a sandal that is so comfortable and durable, and affordable, that people will have to buy it. It is going to be made in Akron, Ohio, capital of the rubber industry, proudly made in the USA. It is going to be made out of recycled rubber which is environmentally conscious. A portion of the proceeds from the sale of each pair will go to the Vietnam veterans charities or wounded warriors. This is going to be so cool...

Back to the unemployment line

Lost my job on Thursday. Losing a job is always bittersweet for me. It sucks that I got fired because that means I wasn't doing what a couple of people thought I should be doing, even though I thought I was. Oh well, I wasn't really digging it anyway. Too much driving and the work wasn't much fun. Boss was a dick. I hate working for people like that. Now I'm back to blogging and writing. Time for the 'To Do! list'for the things to do while unemployed:

1. The guitar playing is going to pick up and I think I want to try to write some songs that I can sing in an open mic night. I want to do three blues songs that have to deal with unemployment at this time in history and in my life. And I want to cover Bob Dylans' 'Maggies Farm.'
2. Finish the bathroom!
3. Sell junk on craigslist, amazon, ebay.
4. Do whatever the wife says.

That about sums it up. Don't worry. Things'll be fine.